What you do in the first five minutes of meeting someone matters — big time.

For better or worse, humans are hardwired to automatically make assumptions about the people we meet. Maybe it’s a primal habit that makes us feel somewhat safer. After all, if we can fit someone into a box and categorise them nicely, then they’re no threat to us. We know what to expect of them.

While first impressions can often be wrong, and we may end up being surprised by many, many people throughout our lives, one thing about first impressions is hardly surprising at all — how we create them. In most cases, the way you, your coworkers, celebrities, millionaires, executives and everyone in-between introduces themselves, is much the same.

How so? Let’s take a look at the first five minutes of most conversations, between two people that have never met.

 

What are the questions that are going to be asked?

If you’re in a business setting, it’s probably going to be along the lines of, what do you do for a living? Who do you work for? Where are you based? How is your industry doing? This is alongside the normal intro questions like, what’s your name, and, how are you going?

In a social setting, the most commonly asked questions during a first meeting are nearly identical. More of the ‘my name is…’ and ‘how are you?’ We additionally will often ask questions about work, hometown and etc.

 

How do you answer the questions?

Now, these questions by themselves are not that bad; it’s how you answer them.

Generally, you can answer all of these with as little as one word. Then, what happens?

You and your conversation partner trade a few one-worded answers back and forth, nod a little, take a drink and look around the room for an escape from the awkward encounter.

 

What secret weapon can you use?

What can you do to actually make these first impressions matter? It’s a test you can’t fail.

You already know the questions that will be asked…so figure out the right answers! Come up with descriptive, interesting and engaging answers to the most-asked questions when meeting a new person, and you’ll see your little awkward exchanges transforming into enjoyable conversations that will help you win friends in social settings and make important connections in business settings.

People spend so little time and effort thinking about their initial small talk with a new person, it’s no wonder that so many people make poor first impressions, or completely inaccurate first impressions. Take some time to really think through what you have to gain from that first interaction, and then formulate answers that help you get what you want, whether it’s a spot in the inner circle of your office, a favourable position with your friend’s new girlfriend or just some recognition from an individual within your industry.

You are building your way into the social fabric, if you would like to know more, check out this blog.