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One of my clients—let’s call him George, for our story’s purpose—came to me with absolutely abhorrent storytelling skills. Give his coworkers the choice between watching paint dry in the conference room, and listening to another one of his PowerPoint presentations, and every single one of them would most assuredly pick the former. When George came to me, he was preparing for a large presentation at an upcoming conference. His supervisors would be there, he’d have a large audience and he wanted to make a great impression. He knew his storytelling skills weren’t the best—he’d certainly seen the looks in his coworkers’ eyes whenever he took the stage—so he sought out some coaching in this department.

Have you ever been telling a story, and you can slowly watch your listener’s eyes glaze over, or even move to focus on something else in the room? Their mind is wandering off, and you could be calmly telling them that their hair was on fire, and they wouldn’t even hear? Then, when their attention does finally come back to you, they haven’t heard a word you said, and they missed the story completely? Maybe it’s not that your listener is rude…maybe it’s that your story is boring.

The Pull style simply is a way to influence your listener (or, in many cases your colleagues and coworkers), by “pulling” them in the direction you want them to go, through a series of carefully constructed questions. Rather than pushing them in the intended direction through commands and assertive behaviour, you’re gently guiding them in a friendly, unobtrusive manner.

Part of being an Engaging Executive is being able to guide your colleagues in the directions you want them to take, planting yourself as their leader. In other words, you want to be able to positively influence them in such a way that also positively affects your own career and goals. There are several different modes of influencing those around you, but one that’s particularly useful to the Engaging Executive is the “Pull” style.

You may think that you’re too set in your career ways to change at this point, that if you’re already more on the reserved side at work, or if you don’t necessarily get along with your coworkers, that there’s no hope. However, you should be happy to know that’s not the case! Even though we all prefer to learn new skills in different ways (maybe you’re more of a visual learner, or an experiential learner), we all follow a basic set of behavioural patterns when picking up a new skill, whether it’s becoming a pro at small talk, or enhancing our leadership qualities. It doesn’t matter how you come to the realisation that your interpersonal skills could do with an upgrade. Maybe you were passed over for a promotion, even if you are technically proficient in your role? Maybe you received some uncomfortable feedback from your manager? Maybe you saw lesser-qualified people getting up the ladder quicker? Whatever happened, you’re suddenly aware that you need to learn some new tricks, and this is a great place to be, full of opportunity and a willingness to change your life.

As an individual who works in a technical field, you may say you have no problems with socialising. However, there’s a big difference between being an Engaging Executive, and just having enough social skills here and there to scoot by, get the job and lay low. For many STEM worker they don’t have what it takes to get that awesome promotion, or to lead their peers who aren’t so technically-minded, or to just be influencers within the organisation.

When leaders promote healthy, positive relationships between their subordinates, through team-building and increased teamwork, stress and workplace tensions are less likely to occur.

Being an Engaging Executive, in the simplest terms, is leveraging two skill sets vital to your career. One is, of course, the technical ability to do your job and do it very well. The other is sometimes the harder of the two, and is the ability to engage the people around you, so that you become an inspiring and easy-to-follow leader.

Being in any kind of technical, rule-centric field, from STEM industries to finance roles, is a fantastic accomplishment. However, while being great at your technical job is something to be proud of, it’s not enough to get you as far as you may want to go…