Once you’ve developed a strong ability to empathise with others, you can use empathy to influence those around you to feel more resourceful. One way to do so is via a method called energy matching.


Here’s how it works.

First, identify the emotion the other person is feeling and why they’re feeling it. Have you empathised with them yet? Do you “get” what it is that’s bothering them? Have you asked enough questions? 

If so, match their energy (not their emotion). While it might seem undesirable to match someone else’s low, unresourceful and sad energy, it’s crucial to do so, or the energy matching process will never work. Match their energy with your tone, facial expressions and body language. Show your listener that you’re meeting them where they’re at. 

Keep talking to them, but begin to lead their energy using your own. Lift your voice and increase the speed of your words, but only slightly. If you go too quickly, it won’t work. Continue this process until the other individual has been led out of their poor emotional state, to one that’s more positive and productive.


What’s next

To carry this out well, there are lots of factors that you can work on. Let’s take a look at the usefulness and impact of using ones’ voice, read here. If you want to read more on getting your team into the social mindset, click here.