Have you ever felt overlooked for a promotion at work? Your colleagues may gravitate toward others, offering support and camaraderie while leaving you on the sidelines. It can be frustrating to feel like you’re getting the short end of the stick, but let’s pause for a moment and take a different perspective.
Instead of blaming your coworkers, managers, or the work environment, look inward. People naturally tend to help those they like and connect with. So, the big question is: Do people like you? Are you building those essential relationships at work?
One of my clients recently faced this very situation. He was passed over for a promotion he thought he had in the bag. The issue wasn’t his technical skills or job competence but his lack of connection with his superiors. He hadn’t taken the time to develop those interpersonal relationships that could have made him stand out as more than just a skilled worker.
To help him get on track, I provided a list of tasks and challenges designed to help him engage more meaningfully with his colleagues and supervisors. But after a few weeks, he returned to me frustrated, wondering why his efforts weren’t yielding results yet. Where were his new friends? Why wasn’t he seeing a shift in his work relationships?
What he was experiencing was what I like to call a “negative equity situation” regarding his social piggy bank. Building social capital requires time, consistency, and patience, like any investment. You can’t expect to reap the rewards immediately; these things take time to grow and flourish.
How to Build Social Fabric
Now, let’s dive deeper into how to start building that social fabric within your workplace and turn things around.
- Start with Small Gestures: Show interest in your colleagues’ lives and work. Simple questions like, “How was your weekend?” or “What project are you working on?” can go a long way in building rapport.
- Be a Team Player: Volunteer to help others when you can. Offer assistance on projects, and don’t shy away from collaboration. People appreciate those who are willing to lend a hand.
- Show Appreciation: Recognise and acknowledge your colleagues’ achievements and efforts. A genuine compliment or a word of praise can foster goodwill and strengthen your relationships.
- Be Reliable and Trustworthy: When you say you’ll do something, follow through. Consistency builds trust, and trust is the foundation of any strong relationship.
- Cultivate Empathy and Emotional Intelligence: Respond to others’ emotions and reactions. Being attuned to your coworkers’ feelings can help you navigate social situations more effectively. When you read “Teaching Your Leaders to Show Empathy”, you will understand how empathy is vital to influencing people.
- Invest Time in Relationships: Building relationships takes time. Make an effort to spend time with your colleagues, whether grabbing lunch together or participating in team events. Investing your time reading “The Power of the Rapport Triangle” can have a turnaround impact on your relationship building.
- Stay Positive: A positive attitude can be contagious. Keep your interactions upbeat and focus on solutions rather than dwelling on problems.
- Communicate Openly: Share your thoughts and ideas with your colleagues and listen to theirs. Open communication fosters mutual respect and understanding.
Incorporating these habits into your daily routine can gradually shift your work relationships and create a more robust, supportive social network.
But it’s not just about doing these things; it’s about consistently and genuinely. People can sense when you’re insincere, so it’s essential to approach relationship-building with authenticity.
Another critical aspect is managing expectations. Building strong relationships takes time, and the rewards aren’t always immediate. It might take months to see significant changes, but if you stay committed, you’ll notice improvements in your work environment.
Emotional Intelligence
Let’s not forget about emotional intelligence, either. Understanding your own emotions and the emotions of others is crucial for successful interactions. You can navigate complex social situations more efficiently and gracefully by honing your emotional intelligence.
If you’re ready to improve your social networking skills, you might be interested in our Emotional Intelligence program. It can help you enhance your ability to understand, influence, and connect with others. Check out our program page to see if it is right for you.
Head to the Engaging Executive Vlog for more insights and tips on building relationships and thriving in the workplace. We’ve got a wealth of resources to help you succeed.
Imagine becoming the office favorite and it all starts with Emotional Intelligence, for more about it, read here. If you would like to find out how you can transform your ability to understand, influence and connect with others, visit our programme page and see if it is right here for you.
More tips at the Engaging Executive Vlog.